Jake the Tumblogging Pirate

roccondilrinon:

andariel-sirene:

albertinho:

winking-eye-alcohol-suggestion:

“when you play the Game of Parliament, you win or you di- get relegated to the backbench for eternity” 

Gillard’s ALP are the Baratheon’s. Infighting and crazy sects splitting them apart, you get the feeling that stuff would only be “okay” under them because they all kinda suck. They once ruled supreme. Now they are now a shadow of their former self.

Libs are the Lannisters. The always pay their debts, but not without a price. Abbott is Joffrey: the Asshole that nobody really likes but is destined to be king.

Greens are the Starks: likeable, but blunder their way into stabbing themselves in the foot. Comfortable as warriors for good, but not as politicians. Obsessed with the weather, warning everyone of the inevitable doom it’ll bring but everyone seems preoccupied.

Katter’s Australia Party are House Bolton: Ruthless northerners that are ruled by a ugly trout who is as much cold as he is calculating.

Nationals are House Tyrell: Committed to chivalry, class and tradition, Barnaby Joyce is Loras, the charismatic one that knows how to speak for the people of his land, no matter how strange their voice may be.

The Independents (Nick Xenophon, Tony Windsor, et al.) are the Night’s Watch: They may hold no crown and seek no glory, but all the same they hold the post of the lands that must be defended. Derided by the rest of the lands.

One Nation are House Targaryen: Once a feared power over the land, they are now in exile, desperately skimming the borders of electorates for their former glory.

ANY MORE TO ADD?

EDIT: MORE!

Christian Democrats are House Greyjoy: A house that believe in primitive, antiquated laws and traditions born of old readings of religion. Ageing leader Fred Nile (“what is dead may never die”) thinks he has been called to power by higher forces. May wield some power, but is nevertheless ridiculed by just about everyone.

Malcolm Turnbull is Tyrion Lannister: Quick-witted and charming, but most within his own house are indifferent to him at best for being who he is.

News Corporation are the Golden Company: legendary cutthroat mercenaries made up of the largest, most powerful fleet of media warriors known in the lands. Can single-handedly win any political battle.

Australian Democrats are House Mormont: Proud as they may have been (“Keep the bastards honest” was their house words), this House is so worn down by battles lost in the past that they are now reduced to fighting for others. Natasha Stott Despoja was their Longclaw, lost from the Senate in 2008.

This is too much fun

Guys GUYS

THIS is how to explain Australian politics to foreigners. The parallels are so close it isn’t even funny.

Screw explaining things to foreigners; this helps explain Australian Politics to Australians.

(via thereisaholeinyourmind)

colchrishadfield:

There is no try. Only do.

(via liamdryden)

ktseitz5:

I know the answer, but I can’t stop laughing.